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Madda
Aug 3, 2006 1:28:51 GMT
Post by Roulette on Aug 3, 2006 1:28:51 GMT
Yes you can! Because you know it's true!
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madda
Learner Rocker
Posts: 27
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Madda
Aug 3, 2006 13:40:48 GMT
Post by madda on Aug 3, 2006 13:40:48 GMT
Let us for a moment consider the following equation: C = l ^ 2 + 2e + ( c + s ) / 2
Where: C = Coolness l = leet skillz e = nifty equipment c = clothing colour s = clothing style
Now, Pirates plainly have no leet skillz while Ninjas may be said to have leet skillz of 5.
I'll grant you that cannons and cutlasses have their uses, despite the noise factor so I will concede that they are equal at 3 for this.
The clothing colour? Well, Ninjas get the neat black gear. Plainly better. So we'll give them 2 and pirates 1.
The clothing style? I will concede that busty pirate wenches in corsets give the pirates some respectability in this regard. However, ninja grrlz are nearly their equal. Therefore in this area we will give the pirates 3 and the ninja 2. I think that's more than fair of me.
So, we have:
Cp (Coolness of pirates) = 0 ^ 2 + 2 * 3 + (1 + 3) / 2 Therefore: Cp = 0 + 6 + 4/2 = 8
Cn (Coolness of ninjas) = 5 ^ 2 + 2 * 3 + (2 + 2) /2 Therefore: Cn = 25 + 6 + 2 = 33
When we convert these to binary we get: Cp = 001000 Cn = 100001
So you can plainly see that, not only are Ninjas better than pirates, but they are better by several (2) orders of magnitude!
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Madda
Aug 3, 2006 14:52:05 GMT
Post by yazuil on Aug 3, 2006 14:52:05 GMT
There are less people in a band of Ninjas than on a Pirate ship. And pirates speak cooler and have better head-gear.
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madda
Learner Rocker
Posts: 27
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Madda
Aug 3, 2006 20:57:21 GMT
Post by madda on Aug 3, 2006 20:57:21 GMT
I'm afraid that speaking cooler isn't a factor in this, and the headgear only adds a small amount (less than busty corseted pirate wenches), so is therefore a negligible modification. Even being VERY generous and allowing either of these to influence the calculations would still leave Ninjas at least an order of magnitude cooler.
Besides, I didn't include honour!
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Raya
Newbie
Posts: 2
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Madda
Aug 3, 2006 22:12:03 GMT
Post by Raya on Aug 3, 2006 22:12:03 GMT
Pirates can easier be printed on T-Shirts! Thats why I say: Pirates rock!
So, Mr Madda ..lets see how you try to out-knock that one!
~Raya, looks in triumph!
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Madda
Aug 3, 2006 23:44:16 GMT
Post by Roulette on Aug 3, 2006 23:44:16 GMT
Madda, you are outnumbered! *dances around*
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Madda
Aug 4, 2006 8:45:07 GMT
Post by yazuil on Aug 4, 2006 8:45:07 GMT
Gaaaaaaaaaarrrrrrrrr This be ur poirate speakin'! We rule the seven seas in quality head-gear!
And yeh a pirate could go toe to toe with a ninja in a meeting of blades but a ninja versus a pirate cannon.... *makes exploding noise and hand gesture*
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madda
Learner Rocker
Posts: 27
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Madda
Aug 4, 2006 15:31:35 GMT
Post by madda on Aug 4, 2006 15:31:35 GMT
1. Ninjas don't go on t-shirts which means they're less tacky than pirates.
2. Ah, outnumbered I may be, but I am outnumbered by pirate supporters. In the same way as an outnumbered ninja can use guile and cunning to win, so shall I use stubborness and an obscenely warped mode of abusing scientific seeming equations. But that's alright, because I do it for a good cause!
3. A cannon will destroy a pirate as well, and the ninja will not fight the pirate toe to toe, for one of the leet ninja skillz is sneaksing and another is tricksing, so plainly the pirate will find his grog diluted and in his moment of furious weakness he shall be struck down by lightly caffeinated ninja beverages!
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Madda
Aug 4, 2006 15:35:12 GMT
Post by Roulette on Aug 4, 2006 15:35:12 GMT
I still say pirates.
I can be as stubborn as you, sir. Stubborner, even.
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madda
Learner Rocker
Posts: 27
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Madda
Aug 4, 2006 15:37:09 GMT
Post by madda on Aug 4, 2006 15:37:09 GMT
Ah, but you have no finely crafted logical sounding arguments to back up your position. Hence, milady, I must put it to you that you are simply stubbornly fighting a defeat that has long since occurred!
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Madda
Aug 4, 2006 15:41:57 GMT
Post by Roulette on Aug 4, 2006 15:41:57 GMT
Finely crafted fake equations and stuff? Bah! I refuse to admit defeat! I shall fight thee to the death!
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scurvekano
Rock Lord
Commodore Paddy of Secret Pirate Island, DRA
Posts: 869
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Madda
Aug 4, 2006 21:06:38 GMT
Post by scurvekano on Aug 4, 2006 21:06:38 GMT
Are we still having this conversation.
Bill Nighly is a Pirate. Pirate C'thulu, nontheless. And he's in Shaun of the Dead. Ergo, Pirates whore Ninjas. Happy?
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Madda
Aug 4, 2006 23:34:33 GMT
Post by Roulette on Aug 4, 2006 23:34:33 GMT
Patrick argues the point better than I do.
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madda
Learner Rocker
Posts: 27
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Madda
Aug 5, 2006 2:38:54 GMT
Post by madda on Aug 5, 2006 2:38:54 GMT
I don't think dragging out an example of someone who participated in a joke (albeit a very funny joke) is helping the case of credibility for pirates.
Perhaps we should consider a film like Chinese Heroes instead? What pirate can blend into society for months at a time while still carrying out his business? The 'Arrr' is a dead giveaway.
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Madda
Aug 5, 2006 9:51:58 GMT
Post by Roulette on Aug 5, 2006 9:51:58 GMT
Pirates make awesome badguys though ^.^ Can't say that for Ninjas. If you can't see them, they can't be badguys in films o.o
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